Last blog from Oscarville...

It sounds so sad...it really does. However, this is my last blog from Oscarville. Tomorrow I will be running around trying to get the rest of my stuff moved, mailed and packed for the summer. I have to take the boat out of the water and get that all stored for the summer. I still feel like there's so much to do but I'm at the point where I know I can come down in the fall and gather any stray items that I left behind. Then, I'm off on the evening flight to Anchorage and should arrive in Chicago sometime early Sunday afternoon. I should be home in K-town sometime that Sunday evening. It feels as if the last week or two has just been a blur.

I am so excited to get home. I cannot wait to see my family. I always look forward to my parents picking Macy and me up in Milwaukee. I think they like it too...the drive from Milwaukee to Kaukauna gives us some time to catch up. Although I sometimes just want to get home and rest I'm really happy for those two hours alone with my parents. My mom keeps telling me how big Claire and Marin are getting and I just cannot wait to see both of them. I can't wait to have a beer with my brothers and sister-in-law and I cannot wait to get to know, Melissa, my brother Dave's new wife, a bit better. I'm hoping for one or two fun and wild nights out with Jon and Lizzie while I'm in town. I have an appointment for my VW to get all tuned up on Tuesday and I'm looking forward to plugging my iPod in and going for a drive. I have a few camping trips with friends already lined up. I'm hoping to hear the roar of Steve's or Brandon's (or both!) Harleys in the driveway this summer and I hope for some long rides. I have a ton of work to do on my thesis and I'm itching to start a more regimented running program to get in shape. So far, it's shaping up to be a nice but busy summer. Although I'm anxious to get home I know I'm going to miss this place.

One thing I love about the spring and summer in the Delta is that the sunsets are amazing. Tonight as I drove from Bethel to Napaskiak I looked behind me and couldn't believe how red and how big the sun was. Now, as I look out my window the sky is streaked with pinks, blues and purples reflected on the water. I remember how during my first year here I would run out almost nightly to take pictures of the sunsets. I'm glad that I still find them amazing.This village is beautiful in so many ways that I hate to leave it. I have met and lived with some of the kindest and most generous people in the world. Although things always haven't been smooth sailing the last four years overall I've loved living here and loved the lifestyle in Oscarville. I've been fortunate to make some really, really good friends here and I know those friendships will last a long time. The kids are amazing. Smart, respectful (most of the time), and eager to learn. I know that a group of students like that is rare and I've been so lucky to have had so many wonderful experiences with them in the classroom.

These kids have changed and grown so much and it's been a pleasure and an honor to see that happen. I look back on the pictures from when I first started and we ALL look so much younger. I was a much different person then too and over the years I've learned how to laugh at myself more, take more risks and believe more in myself. I know that the kids and the people here influenced me just as much as I hope I influenced them.

It's weird...I thought leaving here would be more emotional and more difficult. Perhaps I've been so busy with all the getting ready to go stuff that the actually going hasn't really sunk in yet. I think tomorrow will be hard. I think that saying good bye will be hard. I know I'll be back to visit but it will be as a visitor. It already feels different. It's going to be hard to "visit" a community I feel so much a part of. I think that leaving here has been one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make but yet one that I know I had to make. I know that I have to move on and that there are so many other opportunities out there. I need to do this.

This evening I was giving Brian and another teacher from Kong, Rachel, a ride back to Bethel. Rachel asked how I knew which way to go on the river. I sort of stumbled for words and said, "I've walked around a lot." It's true. I remember the first time I went for a walk in the wilds of Oscarville. I was petrified I would get eaten by a bear or lose my way and wander around and die. I stuck close to the trail and was only gone for about 20 minutes before fear made me turn around go home. Over time I became more confident that I would be able to find my way home and that nothing would eat me. I started to wander further and further away from home. One of the first times I went for a long walk I was gone for about six hours. As I approached home I could hear people yelling and screaming my name. I popped out of the willows where I had been walking and said, "I'm right here!" Apparently, my roommate at the time had alerted the locals that I had been gone for quite some time. I had arrived only moments before they called Search and Rescue. As the years went on people got used to me wandering around and consequently I got really familiar with this little island. Although it's a small little island there are many things that make it special. I've grown to love it more and more with each year.

Enough rambling. I need to get my sleeping bag out and get ready for bed. I packed all my linens and blankets and have been down to my sleeping bag the last few nights. I keep telling Macy that we are just practicing for camping this summer.

So...for my friends up here...I'll see you all in the fall. For my family and friends at home...I'm hoping to see you all on Sunday or Monday and...Mr. Rendall...I'll be seeing you tomorrow!